The Lilo & Stitch Interview Attempt
by Traxer
Summary: This is the odd tale of Max Sterling's attempts to get an interview with Lilo & Stitch. Finally the tail end of Day Four finished with the entire group in one place...sorta. Any reviews welcome.
1. Day One: Meeting L & S

I slowly clomped up the steps to the porch of the modest tropical home. I gave the door three quick raps and tapped my foot nervously as I awaited a response. Footsteps could be heard from within as someone ran to the door and then stopped abruptly. The mail slot opened from the inside revealing a pair of curious eyes a few seconds then snapped shut. A few clicks could be heard of locks being opened and the door swung open reviling a little Hawaiian girl in a yellow sundress and straw hat a few sizes to big.  
I decided I'd better introduce myself before I messed up the moment "Why hello, I'm Max Sterling, a reporter from a Movie Internet group, and I'm assuming you're Lilo. Right?"  
She gave me a strange look and stood there a few moments acting as if any second she'd run away screaming. After a awkward silence "Yeah I guess," she replied quickly "I'm not sure if I should talk to since I'm not allowed to talk to strangers but you don't look or sound like much of a stranger; you seem like you're just a little weird so I guess its ok to talk to ya."  
I paused for a second trying to comprehend everything she said but shook my head because it just gave me a headache. "Uh okay so I was wondering if you could get your sister to ask her something."  
Lilo got a worried look on her face, "It's nothing to do with the beach is it?"  
"Uh, no," I answered quickly.  
Or the swings at the playground?" she asked nervously.   
"No," I said again with a bit of confusion.  
"Or that ice cream truck, or that toy store shelf collapse,"  
"I hope not."  
"Oh okay," she sighed with relief and happily said "I'll go get Nani." She turned around and slammed the door in my face.   
"Ouch," I let out a groan as I fell backwards (I was post-consciously leaning through the doorway). Inside I heard Lilo call "Some guy with a weird looking mustache wants to talk to you." Maybe I should have shaved before I went on this assignment."  
18-Minutes Later…  
The sun was high in the cloudless sky shooting hot rays at my hatless head making me wish that I had got one of those funky straw hats at that odd tourist shop at the airport. I flipped through a tattered magazine of Hawaii Tourist Vacation that which contained mostly rubbish ads and lame articles about the beach. The idea I should just leave and come back later bounced in my mind. Suddenly a little blue creature came out of the dog door that I hadn't noticed earlier and came over to me and growled and snapped his teeth.   
I backed away "I'm guessing you're Stitch," I spit out worried he'd bite me "My name's Max Sterling and was wondering if I could ask something."   
Stitch stopped growling and gave an annoyed look that I didn't run away "What want?" he asked.  
"Well I was wondering if you'd be interested in a inter…"   
"ID," Stitch cut me off.  
"What?" I said confused.  
"ID," he demanded impatiently.  
"Uh sure I guess," I replied fumbling through my pockets. Eventually I got out my wallet, opened it and slowed my driver's license. He grabbed it from my hand and took a few quick looks from the license to my face. Then he turned and chucked the wallet off the side of the porch into the dense underbrush. Stitch turned back around, gave me his best evil grin and walked back toward the dog door. Before he went in he gave me one last look and laughed "Aloha sucker!"  
14-Minutes Later…  
The front could be heard opening and footstep came across the porch to above where I was searching for my wallet.   
"What are you doing down there?" a voice called down and I saw Lilo staring down at me with eyes.   
"I seem to have 'misplaced' my wallet," I grumbled "Did you get you're sister?"  
"I went to find Nani but I couldn't find her anywhere," she explained "I looked all over the house and couldn't find her. Then I went into the backyard and searched there too. Soon I got hungry with looking so much, so I went to the kitchen a made a peanut butter sandwich. After I finished eating it Stitch wanted something so I made him a triple decked tuna, pickle, baloney, and mustard sandwich. Then I noticed that the record player was gathering dust so I listened to some songs and then…"   
"Ok, ok, I understand, she's not home," I sighed cutting Lilo off "So I guess you don't know when she's coming back."   
"Nope," she said cheerfully "But I'll tell her Sax Merlin came by when she does." She turned around and went out of site.  
"Hey wait a sec, my name's Max St…" a loud door slam could be heard "erling," I groaned. "How'd I get stuck with interviewing Lilo and Stitch," I asked myself with a sigh. Then I remembered I'd jumped over ten other co-workers to snag to get this story and a chance talk to these guys. I decided that I'd get a motel and try again first thing in the morning; as soon I found where that dumb wallet landed.   
26 Minutes Later…  
My patience was running dangerous low as I searched on my hands and knees for my wallet in the thickly foliage covered ground. I wondered if I should get Lilo but I figured she wouldn't much of help. I was beginning now to think that I should never give my wallet to anyone for any circumstances, especially to a little monster named Stitch. I wished that I could leave but I knew I'd be toast without the wallet which contained all my money, credit cards, drivers license (and rental car keys!), passport and other various items.  
"Yo Maxie," a voice yelled out. I turned towards where it was coming from and saw Stitch standing on the porch "looking for this?" He threw an object which beaned me in the head, then bounced off landing in front of me. It was the wallet.  
"Hey," I yelled at him rubbing my head where the wallet deflected off "What's the big idea you blue furred, indecent, conniving monstrosity."   
"Thanks much," Stitch replied giving a bow.  
I grabbed my wallet from the ground and lost my temper "OK that's it, just wait till I get my hands on…" Someone was tapping me on the shoulder.   
I turned around face-to-face with one of the signature flowered Hawaiian shirts. When I looked up a dark scowling face towering above me, I froze and couldn't get my mouth to do anything but babble nonsense. The man took the wallet from my petrified fingers, opened it quickly taking a look, then snapping it shut and placing it in my chest pocket.   
"Mr. Sterling, I must ask you to leave the proximity," the man said in a deep rumbling voice, which gave me a chill down my spine.  
"Are you by any chance Mr. Bubbles?" I managed to mutter nervously.  
"He took me by the shirt and brought me a foot off the ground close to his face "I prefer 'sir'" he hissed in a venomous tone.  
"Yes, yeah anything ya say," I stuttered as he set me down, "But I was wondering if I could get an interview with…"  
"I don't think so Mr. Sterling," Cobra Bubbles with a growl "Now go or I will have to escort you out in a more ungracious matter." I backed away and heard Stitch laughing hysterically on the porch.   
I forced a smile and said "Well adios anyway!" Then I turned, ran to my car, yanked my wallet out, ripped out the key, jumped in the car and drove away as fast as possible. I stopped two blocks away 'Boy if this is what happened in less than two hours I can't imagine a whole interview with that group even if I manage to get one.' Then I thought about it a few more seconds and then figured it'd be worth it. 


	2. Day Two Part 1: Nani's Home

OOC: Finally I found the time to type out the second segment of the persistent reporter Max's attempt to get an interview. Unfortunately I couldn't get myself to write out an interview until I had actually snagged one. So bare with me here and read how Max gets an interview and…well I won't spoil it for ya.   
  
  
My rental car sputtered into the driveway of the seemingly harmless tropical home and shuddered to an awkward stop. I got out of the car and jumped up the porch steps two at a time. A wonderful rest at a coastal hotel had revitalized my energy and original hopes for an interview with the elusive Lilo and Stitch. I figured it would last as long as I didn't see the hotel bill.  
I knocked on the door the same as yesterday with three quick knocks and hoped that Nani would be home this time. If she was home I wondered if I should mention yesterday's visit in full extent but promptly decided not (even though $28, my lucky charm, my hotel key card, and a free movie pass had mysteriously disappeared from my wallet while Stitch had it).  
After a minute or so, when I finally noticed that there was actually a doorbell, the door slowly opened with a slow grinding creak but mysteriously no one was in sight. I uncertainly stepped in and called out cautious "Hello?" No answer. I felt there was something amiss but I couldn't figure out what, so (the dummy I was) I edged in a bit more and called "Is anyone here?"  
Suddenly from behind the door Stitch appeared with a diabolical grin that told me something was definitely in the works. "Surprise Maxie!" he said in vile amusement and before I could do anything the door slammed me in the face knocking down onto the porch. 'Maybe I should have learned from my mistake yesterday,' I thought as I grasped my nose.  
Inside someone yelled something a from inside the house and then footsteps could be heard stomping down steps then running to the door. It swung open revealing a quiet pretty young Hawaiian women in modest blue jean shorts and a white and pink striped t-shirt tied up in front (MMMMM…) With a concerned look on her face she timidly asked, "Are you alright?" He held out her hand to help me up.  
"Uh yeah I guess," I said grasping her hand while the other still squeezed my nose to keep it from bleeding "Nothing permanent, I hope, I guess I came at the wrong time."  
"No, no, I so sorry about Stitch, he's always a bit uh… wary of strangers," she explained, "Uh… but incidentally who are you?"  
"My name's Max Sterling and I'm a reporter with a web newspaper," I explained in weird voice since I was still plugging my nose. "And I was wondering if I could ask you something."   
I could tell she doubted my story for a few seconds but then shook her head, "I'm Nani, and come on in, I guess." She directed me inside. I hesitated a few moments wondering if this would be the smartest thing to do for my personal safety. On another run by, how else was I supposed to get an interview if I was too scared to go into their house? I went in.  
She led me to the living room, "You know Mr. Sterling, it's funny, yesterday my little sister said some weird guy named Sax who said he was a reporter too and then had to be told to leave by our friend Cobra when the guy was sneaking around the house," she laughed shaking her head.  
"Just call me Max and that is odd," I murmured biting my lip. (OOC: Sorry that sounds a bit lame)  
"Oh well," she sighed, "would you like something to drink?"  
"Uh, water, thanks," I replied quickly.   
"OK well make yourself comfortable, I'll be right back to answer your question," she said with a comforting smile went out of sight though the kitchen door.   
  
5 minutes later  
I was now admiring the photos handing on one of the walls showing many locations that these guys had been. I was just getting a bit jealous when I begun to wonder how they could get the money to vacation to all those places. I stopped thought about that elusive question a bit but shook my head of the consideration. 'I'm a reporter not an IRS agent,' I thought rolling my eyes (I'd considered the career a few times before though). I took out my notepad 'Well the more that I think about it …" the noise of the kitchen door opening came to my ears.  
"Oh, Nani I wanted to…" said turning around but stopped in mid-sentence. No one was in sight and the only sign of someone was the kitchen door swinging back and forth on a squeaky spring. My eyes coasted the room uneasily and, seeing nothing, I nervously bit my lip. Somewhere the sight sound of clicking was faintly heard and the hair on the back of my neck stood on end as I felt someone was near but there was not the slightest indication of what it could be (I should have guessed by now). Suddenly I felt a bone-chilling drop of water made contact with my wrist and then I watched it slide off onto the carpeted floor. I held my breath and cautiously looked up to the ceiling to where the drop had fell. So there hung Stitch, all four arms revealed, three clasped into the ceiling, one holding a glass seemingly filled with ice cold water. I shook my head franticly "No wait…" He nodded his head just as quick and before I could back up, block myself from the impact or anything he dumped it.  
____________________  
  
OOC: Bad way to end this chapter and Max still doesn't have the interview yet. But I'll get out the third part pretty soon (let's say in less than a week, maybe). Oh and also I noticed that the first chapter was a bit sloppy grammar so forgive me on that. Finally any comment or flames welcome (well sorta) to help me post faster than a month between each chapter. 


	3. Day Two, Part 2: The 'Apology'

OOC: OK here it is the very long delayed 3rd part. Forgive confusion on lousy typing abilities.  
  
I slowly walked through the kitchen door then stood there, my shirt sopping wet dripping onto the floor, shivering involuntary, and lips already bluish. Nani was leaning on the counter casually talking to a Hawaiian guy with a surfboard shirt sitting at chair with his back to me. When she noticed me she quickly looked me over in horror and the formally charming smile she just had melted from her face. The guy (who I guessed was David) turned around to see what she was so freaked out about and looked me over with a mixed surprised, confused looking expression. "What happin' to you?" he asked quizzically in an accent.  
"Oh Mr. Sterling, I'm so s-sorry, um, uh David came by and-and I got into taking with him and I-I told Stitch that, I mean…" she tried desperately to explain even though I knew it was impossible to try.   
"No, no, I'm f-f-fine," I shuddered holding up my hands in denial, "D-don't worry. It's refreshing in this mug-g-gy climate any-anyway," I chattered the partial lie. "Could I just a-ask something now?" I gave what I hoped was a comforting smile.  
·· ·  
  
Nani (thankfully) insisted that before I ask anything I needed a towel to dry myself off, so she got me a quite large rainbow colored flowed one that was amazingly fluffy. After that, she led me to the living room once again, sat me down on the couch and quickly told me "I'll be right back!" She then jogged out of sight around the corner and I heard her pound up the steps.   
Soon enough I heard steps coming back down the stairs but instead of Nani, Lilo appeared around the corner and slowly walked up to me with her hands clasped behind her back. "Aloha Mr. Sax…" she said with a wide smile.  
"Max Sterling," I cut her off hoping Nani wasn't in hearing range yet. "Just call me Max."  
"Uh, ok," she continued, "I just wanted to tell you that Stitch would like to tell something to you." She pointed behind her (where noone was) and waited a few seconds. Then she turned and also noticed noone was in sight. "Stitch!" she said in an annoyed tone and a pained growl could be heard from around the corner. "Come on Stitch!" she demanded, another growl. She walked away around the corner, then appeared again dragging Stitch, who had a highly irritated look on his mug, towards me. "Now Stitch would like to tell ya something," she repeated with temperamental smile.  
Stitch looked at me, wrapped in the flowered towel, and smiled mischievously. "Yeah, yeah," he muttered to Lilo, cleared his throat. He made the appearance he was going to say something but instead he let out his tongue and went "BBBRAATTTHHH!" He turned and tried to dodge for a grand getaway, unfortunately for him, Lilo caught him by the back of his red collar yanking him off his feet.   
I shifted on the couch restlessly and watched Stitch dramatically fake as though he were choking, "Well, I gotta get go…"   
"Wait please," Lilo said in such a cute tone I decided to sit back without objection. Lilo leaned over Stitch, who was lying limp trying to play dead, and said "You what I heard Nani say to David 'bout you?" Stitch didn't give any indication that he was listening and Lilo leaned closer to his ear. "She said something 'bout discontinuing your candy pilliages or someting if you don't shape up," Stitch opened one of his eyes at Lilo. "Oh and then she said a thing about switching to decaffeinated coffee or something." Stitch's eyes went wide and his face recoiled in fear. He got up, gave me a look that told me he wanted noting to do with me, muttered softly with a growling sigh, " I sorry Maxie."  
I was taken aback momentarily because I really didn't expect it but I managed to sputter "Uh thanks," in a clear tone of confusion. Nani finally appeared around the corner. I breathed a sigh of relief as I got up from the couch and walked past Lilo and Stitch towards her. "Nani," I called "Now I'll finally get to the reason I'm here: could I um… well have a interview with those two?" I explained motioning towards the two behind me.  
Nani looked from the two, back to my face and asked in unbelief with a small grin "That's all?"  
I thought about it quick and answered "Yep."  
"Oh that'd be fine," she answered "It's just that I'm surprised because noone has come by yet to just have an interview, I worried that you were here for some other story." I was about to ask 'What other stories?' but decided I didn't want to know, looking at Stitch's glaring face. A look of disappointment came to her face, "Oh but I have to go to work now, but wait…you could stay here and interview while I'm gone," she offered.  
I glanced back at Stitch again; he had an evil grin pasted back on his face, like he was conjuring up something in that little head of his. I turned back to Nani, "Uh…how about I come back tomorrow morning when you're here?"   
"Sure, why not," she said.  
? ? ?  
I skipped down the porch steps with a giggle in my throat and a song in my heart. This was great, well sorta great; I still had to do the interview. I got to the car, threw open the door, jumped in, and slammed it closed. Suddenly, I paused, the grin melted off my face. I repositioned in the car seat, actually I slid around in the seat. My hand lifted from the armrest, some sticky substance covered it. Taking a deep breath, the smell of pineapple and cherry filled the car. I looked out the side window, Stitch was right by the car door waiting patiently. With a sigh I rolled down the window.  
"Like da scented glue?" he asked with a quizzical tone.  
Unsure what to think I nodded with a neutral face.  
"See ya tomorrow," he paused, climbed up the car door through the window close to my face, "Maxie."  
He dropped down. I sat back and groaned, then heard Stitch chuckling to himself, noisily. Something told me this wasn't the end.  
  
OOC: Sorry to say I may never get past this, but you never know, patience , patience. Anyway, again any comments, including flames welcome. 


	4. Day Three, Part 1: Encountering Jumba

OCC: Well, I couldn't resist throwing Jumba into the mix, I don't know how well it's written, I was in a rush (that's a bit of an oximoron), I'll let you decide.   
  
I found it very interesting how understanding the rental services are in Hawaii. Amazingly they actually believed my excuse; well somewhat believed it.  
"So what happened," the guy in a bright orange asked from behind the desk.  
"Ur…well there was this tree I, I leaned on for a while and I didn't see the sap and…" the service person was either not listening to my story or not believing a word of it.  
"Really?" the guy said giving me a neutral stare.  
I decided that the truth wouldn't hurt, "Well actually, there's this deranged and yet abnormally smart dog…" The person was writing something down, probably about the crazy guy he was listening to, but I continued anyway, " and the dog, it put scented glue all over the seat. Sorry." I cringed for the coming reaction.  
"Oh, ok, happens all the time," he said not looking up from the paper he was writing on, "Here's another car, drive carefully." He set a pair of keys in front of me on a shiny flower key chain.  
OOO  
The sun was in noontide stage in the sky as I drove the SUV up the dirt driveway to a stop in front of the bright tropical home. I put on a reflective pair of sunglasses and studied myself in the mirror. I'd got the glasses while getting a new set of clothing for the stuff that had been fused on the car seat yesterday. The shadow of a beard and mustache were beginning to appear on my face, I'd forgotten to stave again this morning. It didn't matter, I'd gotten the interview set and nothing could stop me now. Getting out, I looked at the house suspiciously; it was motionless and quiet in the light. I sighed quietly and grabbed a little voice recorder; I'd also bought yesterday, off the seat.   
Swiftly, I jogged up the creaky steps of the porch then jumped the final step to in front of the door. Looking around I expected a trap, alas there was nothing noticeable. Taking a deep breath, I pushed the doorbell with a click. Unexpectedly there was a melody of classical notes instead of a plain 'ding-dong'. 'Stitch must have been bored,' I figured. Soon, like yesterday, the pounding of steps came to the door, except the sound of these steps vibrated through the deck beneath me. Curiosity got me, I leaned sideways to try and peak in the window who it was.   
"Vat are you doing?" a booming voice with a thick Russian accent.   
Startled I swung back to my upright position in front of a large glowering four-eyed face with a fake moustache and glasses, "Uh…I…I…I…"   
"Vell, Vho are you?" he asked glancing me up and down distrustfully.   
"Max S-s-s-Sterling, is Nani?"   
"No, she isn't," the formidable figure asked obviously already annoyed. This face seemed incredibly familiar, I couldn't forget a face that weird. "Are you by any chance Dr. Jumba Jookiba?"   
Jumba gathered his hand into a fist and held it in front of my face, "I prefer 'Uncle Jumba.'"   
Trying to ignore the fist I peaked around it and I held out my hand, "Pleased to meet you Unca Jumba."   
"What the…" Jumba started, confused by my reaction.  
I cut him off "I'm a reporter from a web mag and I came by…"   
It was Jumba's turn to interrupt, "Wait, you're a reporter.?"  
This may sound promising, I lowered my sunglasses, "Yeah, I'm a reporter."   
"Looking for a story?"   
That question made me a little wary, "Uh, technically I am."   
Without saying a thing he backed up, slammed, and I was sitting on the porch in front of a closed door. Wow, I should have predicted that action by now. I put the glasses back on my nose; both sides separated and hung off my ears at odd angles. "Shoot!" I muttered. I reached into my pocket and placed an identical pair on my nose. I was unexpecting but not stupid.   
Well, here goes nothing, again. I got up, brushed myself off and trying not to let my conscience stop me, I pushed the doorbell. Interesting, the tone was now a rock and roll song. The stomping noise came again, the door swung open, Jumba standing there again. It took me a second to realize that he was holding a very intimidating weapon, "Vhat do you vant now?"  
I was just staring at the gun, " NanisaythatIshouldgetainviewwitliloandstitch isshehome?  
Jumba just stood there, dumbfounded, and suddenly noticed the gun in his hand. "Oh, sorry 'bout that, vust a little work I'm doing." Then his eyes turned into a glare once again, "Nani's not here and I haven't heard about…"  
"Aloha Max!" Jumba and me turned toward the voice. Lilo stood next to Jumba in a blue shell sundress and a crown of flowers in her hair.   
Jumba asked inquiringly, "You know him?"   
"Uh-huh, he came and got busted by Cobra two days ago," There was a pause in between and I felt Jumba's eyes throwing knifes at me which made me uncomfortably warm. Thankfully, Lilo continued, "Oh yeah, yesterday he came to see Nani and got splashed by Stitch, had to wear a funny towel, Stitch said sorry, and Nani told me to tell you that Max was gonna come an' interview me and Stitch today and to keep an eye on Jumba." I breathed a sigh of relief as I turned back to Jumba.   
He scratched the back of his head with the weapon, "So that vas vhat vas in da note that I accidentally departicli- ur… I mean threw out."  
Then for some reason there was an awkward silence where I knew I was supposed to say something but I wasn't sure exactly what.   
The small blue figure of Stitch finally came out, scanned around and noticed me. Wordlessly he went past me to the edge of the porch and apparently spotted the SUV. "Mmm, ya got new rental Maxie? Very nice." Then, he turned, walked past me, walked past Jumba and Lilo who still stood in the doorway, and went out of sight behind them. A deep chuckling was then heard from within.   
Jumba shook his head of Stitch's confusing comment. "Vell if Nani told you can do ze interview. Come on in, and vatch vere you step," he warned staring a final nervous glance over his glasses.   
It made me worried that Nani wasn't there. Oh well, it couldn't be a bad as my last two encounters, could it?  
  
OOC: Forgive me for being a procrasinator, I warned for Patience, I have the next written, typing is what bogs me. Again I beg, reviews, including flames are welcomed, I need some constructive criticism. 


	5. Day Three, Part 2: Pleakley's Cookies

OCC: Now for the second half of the third day of the interview attempt, if your still interested... Sorry for the very, very long delay. I'll try to make up for it.  
  
Lilo and Stitch sat in the living room looking almost too innocent for my liking. Jumba was hovering in the back carefully watching my every move. I found it a little disheartening while I tried to get my recorder to start running. Accidentally I kept pressing the eject button with my shaking fingers extending the tense moments. Finally I had it all ready, "OK, I'm set."  
  
""Bout time," Stitch grumbled glancing at a watch on his wrist. I realized that my own wrist was absent of my watch, I decided not to bother confronting him. I knew that from experience. "Now I'll-"   
  
The kitchen door opened and a light greenish figure in a bright pink apron and black hair came through. "Guys, I've got some great-" the figure saw me and froze. After nervously scanning me over with 'her' one eye, she asked, "Who is this?" in a high voice.   
  
Jumba sighed, "This is Max Sterling, some reporter," he turned to me, "and Mr. Sterling this is 'Aunt' Pleakley'."  
  
Pleakley, obviously caught by the mention of reporter, stuttered, "P…p…pleased to meet y…you. Ur…cookie?" he said holding out a plate of seemingly normal cookies.   
  
I hesitated a moment, but took one, I had skipped breakfast that morning. "Yeah, thanks," I said biting off a large chunk into my mouth. Then I saw Lilo shaking her head and the smile on Stitch's face. My jaw closed on the cookie, there a crackling sound, the tastes of sour, spice and bland hit at the same time. "Bathroom?" I choked out as calmly as possible.  
  
Jumba, who seemed to have expected the reaction, pointed behind him. I ran out of the room.  
  
OOO  
  
"So, how'd you like it?" Pleakley asked hopefully, as I returned to my seat.  
  
"Ur…interesting," I muttered the part lie. The taste was going to be stuck in my mouth for a week. I wondered what the heck he'd put in the concoction.  
  
Jumba walked towards the kitchen door, "Come on Pleakley…I need your help in the labor…I mean laundry room."  
  
"Laundry?" Pleakley directing his eye up in thought, "No, actually I think we jus- ack!" He was cut off by Jumba's paw around his neck, in a small strangled voice he continued, "Oh yes, the laundry, I'll help." Jumba released him and stalked out of sight into the kitchen followed slowly by Pleakley who was still trying to catch his breath.   
  
I watched the swinging kitchen door, "Wonder what they've been up to?" I muttered under my breath.   
  
"Uncle Jumba's been working on various experiments of 'intergalactic importance' in the back shed, but he says I'm not aloud to say anything about it."  
  
"What? Experiments?" I said, caught off guard by the information.  
  
"Yeah, cool stuff, like a Plasma destroyer, and a Sonic Shatter Bomb, and a Molecular Jumbat…" Stitch had covered Lilo's mouth, "Ya didn't hear dat, OK?" he hissed. I nodded quickly, his look causing a shiver up my spine.  
  
My lungs took a deep breath, I decided to finally get to the interview, before anything else interrupted it, "OK, thank you so much for taking your time to let me ask you a few candid questions in a professional style."   
  
"Oh brother," Stitch groaned, I guess that line was a little too flourished. I reached to press 'record' on the small tape recorder, I pressed air instead, the recorder was gone. I swore I had left it there before… I shot a look at Stitch, he hadn't moved, he still had a bored expression, but there was something glowing behind those eyes. I shook my head, I shouldn't jump to conclusions, it may have just fell on the floor. "Just a sec," I said dropping from my seat to search below.  
  
Amazingly it was just underneath the coffee table in front of me, I let off a sigh of relief as I grabbed the recorder. The relief suddenly disappeared as I got back into my seat and noticed that one of my interview subjects was missing. "Where's Stitch?"  
  
Lilo gave an innocent shrug. A sharp bang from the rear of the house cut through my confusion. A few moments later, Stitch appeared at the living room entrance by the stairs. "Oh, Stitch, I was just…" I begun getting up from my seat.   
  
"Sorry Maxie, I must go," Stitch announced with a mock salute. Before I could respond, he had turned and thumped up the stairs. I stood in shocked confusion as I watched him go.   
  
"What the…" I started, I was cut off on again by pounding feet that shook the floor, Jumba appeared at the entrance, his clothes dark and smoldering, looking quiet enraged.   
  
"Where is he?" Jumba growled. Wordlessly I pointed towards the stairs. Jumba clenched his fist, twisted around, and pounded up the stairs, yelling "Stitch, wait til I get my hands on you…"  
  
As soon as Jumba went out of sight, Pleakey appeared, his wig letting off a small flame. Before he could ask I pointed to the stairs, "Thanks," he gasped, then he too quickly padded up the stairs.   
  
It was then that the sounds of crashing furniture, and muffled yells came from the ceiling.   
  
I turned to Lilo, who still sat on the couch, with a sweet neutral expression. I smiled, "Lilo?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"That happen often?"  
  
"Just sometimes," she smiled.  
  
I stood in thought another minute. "Tell Nani I'll try to do the interview tomorrow," I calmly explained.   
  
She nodded, "Aloha Max!"  
  
I tipped my hat, "Aloha to you too."  
  
OOO  
  
Causally I got back into the SUV, that shimmered it's flame shade in the sun that penetrated through the tropical trees. I leaned forward to peak at the bright modest home through the windshield. That was certainly an interesting visit, and amazingly nothing bad had happened to me…except the getting slammed by the door and my watch being stolen and Pleakley's cookies. On second thought, to rephrase, it wasn't as bad as the first two times.   
  
I turned the key, the engine started, at least it seemed that Stitch hadn't had the time to destroy my rental this time. I backed the SUV out of the driveway, sighed, tomorrow, I'd do the interview. I wondered how many times I'd said that in the last few days.   
  
I put the gear into drive, and started down the street.  
  
After a loud series of metallic creaking and snapping and crashing, I slammed the brakes. Almost dreading to do so, I slowly moved my rearview mirror to look. The rear seats and the trunk hatch were lying on the road behind the SUV. I groaned as I fell back into my seat, a snap, the seat catapulted me forward into the steering wheel.   
  
Then, a phone rang. On the passenger seat, a dark cell phone was placed. Grabbing it, I pressed a button and put it to ear. "Hello?"  
  
"Hiya, Maxie," Stitch's cheerful voice greeted on the other end, "What'd think?"  
  
I knew I was suppose to be mad, or annoyed, or bursting out in tears at that point, but strangely enough, I felt quiet calm, "Uh…ingenious set-up I'd say."  
  
"Why thank ya, and oh yeah, insurance?" he inquired.  
  
I rolled my eyes, "Yep, it's covered." (I actually had thought ahead that morning at the rental place)  
  
There was the noise of Jumba's voice in the background, Stitch came back, "I go now, and one more thing."  
  
"What?"  
  
"The phone's Cobra's. Aloha Maxie! See ya soon" Stitch added with a chuckle.  
  
I had to grin, "OK, tomorrow. Aloha."  
  
OCC: Yep, Max still hasn't made the interview, but I shall soon upload some writings I've made about Max Sterling. Enjoy. Again, reviews, including flames, are welcome. Maybe, I should write up the final part, which I would throw our villian Gantu into the mix. Plus, what else could happen to Max's rentals. We shall see. :) 


	6. Interview Transcript: Lilo & Stitch

OOc: Here is a brief transcript between Max and Lilo and Stitch. Tell me what you think. It's not a full interview, but it's enough for now. Again, enjoy.  
  
M: OK you guys, now here's a tough question. There seems to be a time fluxuation in the movie that fans have been throwing theories about for a while…  
  
S: Get to de question Maxie.  
  
M: Oh, sure, simply put, what's the deal with the infamous `missing day'?  
  
(Silence)  
  
L: What missing day?  
  
(Stitch slants eyes at Max with a low growl, Max meanwhile repositions in his seat away from Stitch)  
  
M: I'll explain quickly.  
  
S: Better…(taps claws together)  
  
M: Yes, uh…Cobra came in afternoon after the `tuna conflict', he says Nani's got three days to change mind, nighttime, Stitch arrives, hit by truck, next day, pet shop, the adoption, Nani goes to work, obedience training, luau place, home, supposedly stay up all night, next day 8 a.m., Cobra visit, looking for job, Elvis training, beach chaos, surfing, `drowning' scene, Cobra again, night again, Stitch leaves, then next morning, the final conflicts and stuff, end.   
  
(Silence)   
  
S: What?  
  
L: I think I sorta get it.   
  
S: What?!  
  
M: Really?  
  
L: Cobra said three days but technically it was only two days he gave between the first afternoon and the afternoon at the beach.   
  
S: Oh.  
  
M: So…you know the answer?  
  
(Lilo nods, Stitch studies watch on his wrist.)  
  
S: Go figure, kinda make sense  
  
(Max notices that Stitch has swiped his watch again but decides to overlook it for now.)  
  
(Uncomfortable silence)  
  
M: Well, what happen?  
  
L: I think that Cobra was just being protective, right Stitch?  
  
S: Ur…yeah, `Social worker must judge what's best for their clients personal well being and take necessary action.'  
  
L: Did you get that from one of Cobra's books?  
  
S: Si.  
  
L: I thought he said you weren't supposed…  
  
S: But he has some cool comics.  
  
L: Stitch…  
  
S: And the whole `garden club' stuff is funny and that stuffed bun…  
  
M: Wait, wait, wait, back to subject please.   
  
L: There might have not been a third day because he figured that he was convinced that was nothing to be done to change his mind.  
  
M: Never thought of it that way before. So you mean that he thought that you may be in phyisical danger under Nani's care?  
  
L: Ur..sorta.  
  
S: (venomously) you're on thin ice Maxie.  
  
M: (flustered) On second thought, forget that last comment, moving   
  
on, what was the `I hear you cry at night' comment? You didn't seem   
  
to sleep.  
  
S: Do you have to sleep to cry?  
  
M: Ur, no, actually I meant when did Lilo witness you crying?  
  
S: (smacks his head) Oh, de crying bit.  
  
M: Yeah.   
  
S: Did you see me all the night of the two nights?  
  
M: No, but…  
  
S: How'd you know I cried?  
  
M: Lilo said…  
  
S: Do you have any sensitivity to one's feelings?  
  
M: Uh…yes I…  
  
S: Have you no shame?  
  
M: What?   
  
L: Stitch, stop it.  
  
S: They're all out to get me…  
  
L: Stitch.  
  
S: Oh, ok, sorry Maxie.  
  
L: Stitch has been drinking espresso.  
  
M: Oh, I understand, I guess ummmm…next question…  
  
Traxer 


	7. After Interview: Interrogating

OOC: Here is an 'interrogation' between infamous web reporter, Max Sterling, and Stitch that takes place after the interview. Now this may get interesting...  
  
Staring intently across the table. No blinking. Just watching.   
  
"Oh."   
  
He slanted his stare still not blinking.   
  
I silently organized my thoughts, looking back at him, in an odd angled way that wasn't a direct eye contact with him. It was supposed to fluster him, or me first, I couldn't be sure.   
  
Observe the subject in a professional matter before action.   
  
Hard to read emotions, especially when the subject knew you were trying to read them.   
  
Face first. Easiest usually. The eyes, black reflective. Mmm. Still, the eyes were slanted. Let's see, slight displeasure, that wasn't hard to see, a minor twitch that moment, he's planning, conniving, was that the right word?, probably not, his mouth: gradual curve, not a grimace or even a frown, no real smile, interesting, add these aspects together, the full blue furred face, maybe, something else, questioning, curiosity, wonder. Finally I noted the claws tapping,innocent waiting, not exactly impatience, thankfully.  
  
My eyes shifted, to the pressing stare of this creature, I was confident now. "I took a course of psychology in school, before journalism."  
  
He stopped his claws tapping, he squinted a few tense second, he considered something, decided otherwise, he took a breath, nodded with a maybe relieved smile.   
  
"You are a very amazing being I must say."  
  
He widened his eyes, "Mmm?"  
  
"OK, I'll admit it, there is more to you than meets the eye."   
  
"What?"   
  
I leaned back keeping his stare, "You are quiet a soft and fluffy soul underneath your rough interior."   
  
I briefly wondered if he'd attack me, nothing happened.  
  
"Lilo's got you wrapped around her finger you know."  
  
He shrugged.  
  
"And I think that you're a `happy go lucky' guy, an optimist, and have an appealing child like playfulness."  
  
"Mmm."   
  
"Only problem is you feel insecure of yourself and that's why you usually go after all who come visit."  
  
He rose his paw, "No, just you."   
  
It was my turn to shrug. "I never got good grades in psychology."  
  
"No, you ok."   
  
This caught me off guard, "Huh?"  
  
"But I have noticed that you're headstrong, paranoid, persistent and overly trusting."  
  
"Uh…"  
  
"And you have a temper from time to time and you're known as being a semi-reckless driver."   
  
"Wha…"   
  
"And you tend to have a sweet tooth for any kind of chocolate java, which in turn causes you to have a `weird' behavior."  
  
"Ouch."   
  
Silence.  
  
I held out my hand, "That's enough, truce?"   
  
Stitch grasped my hand, "Truce."  
  
We shook, "Don't use the front door right away," he added.   
  
"The coffee's in the trunk." I replied. 


	8. Interviewing Cobra

OOC: Yes, Max has gained the guts to stand up to former MIB agent Cobra Bubbles, to have a brief interview. Sort of.  
  
I walked up to the garage; I listened to the sound of a drill a few moments that came from within. My stomach was bubbled over with loose nerves. I should quit while I'm ahead.   
  
On second thought, if I could get through Stitch, this should be cinch. Maybe.   
  
The bright garage was in front of me. I should find the other entrance, no I'd face the music straight on. Bending over I pulled the door up in a loud rattling sound. There stood a bright blue BMW beetle. "Mmm, cool." A movement was seen from the corner of my eye, in the corner of the darkened garage. I bit my lip, `Here goes nothing'.   
  
I went around the car, there, on a white sheet, surrounded by various bits of machinery, was a red motorcycle with flames of yellow and flowers of tropical brightness painted on. It was raised   
  
from the ground, underneath someone in Hawaiian apparel lay.  
  
"Ur…hi Mr. Bubbles."   
  
He rolled out from under the cycle, a glare even more sinister than anything Stitch could conjure up. I was surprised I didn't collapse there and then begging for mercy or something just as unimaginably weird.   
  
"Oh, yeah, I mean, hello Cobra."   
  
His glare relaxed somewhat to a look of befuddled suspiciousness. "What the heck you want?"   
  
That moment I realized that I didn't know, "Well…what's this?" I asked pointing towards the bike.  
  
Cobra got up from the floor, I'd forgotten how tall he was, he stared down at me, "Mr. Sterling, I'm not here for stupid questions. If your…"  
  
"Why are you still here?"  
  
He paused; he put his hand into a fist cracking his fingers, "Excuse me?"  
  
I shrugged, quietly I repeated "Why are you living near here now?"   
  
Cobra gave the dreaded face of impatience, I figured he'd take me by the shirt and throw me out of the garage any moment now.   
  
"It's my job," he said.   
  
Silence, I continued to stare at him. A reporter's weapon.  
  
"I felt a responsibility to watch them after all they've went through. There must be someone to keep an eye on Stitch's actions. I have been informed of his capabilities and even though he seems to be…stable…there still is a chance. Basically Mr. Sterling, it's my job." He finished that last sentence with a venomous hiss that made me shiver. But of course I ignored my instinct.  
  
"How about Lilo?"  
  
He squinted at me, he crossed his arms, "Lilo is a…" he considered his options, "…wonderful and sweet young girl, a very good heart." He smiled, I was taken aback by that unexpected change.  
  
"And Nani…"  
  
"She's now a competent guardian."   
  
Oh, and Ju…"  
  
"Has to keep a lower profile and stop meddling with his alien gadgets."  
  
"You've dealed with reporters before, haven't you?"   
  
"Yes. Incidentally none have made it as far as you."  
  
"Really? I…"  
  
"That's only because Nani approved, you're not that persuasive Mr. Sterling."  
  
"Ah dang. Well, how about you're involvement in the CIA?"   
  
Cobra reformed the knife-throwing stare on me, "That's it Mr. Sterling, goodbye."  
  
I held my hand out, "Nice talking to you, and what's with the bike."  
  
He gave the disheartening grin again, he grasped my hand, "A hobby of mine."  
  
"Hey, that's, ow!"   
  
OOC: OK that about closes it for the Max stuff I have written. Maybe, later on I'll continue. But for now, that's it from Max Sterling. 


	9. Day Four, Part 1: Gantu Alert

OCC: After a very long delay, here is the continuation of the exploits of Max Sterling, web reporter seeking an interview with Lilo and Stitch. I really don't know why I've came back to it or it will be as good. I just reread the old parts and dicided that it needed to be tied up once and for all.

IC: I will never cease to be amazed by the compatibilities of the Hawaiian car rental. Even in the contract it said it covered 'booby-traps' that destroyed the car. Despite this, I still felt quiet embarrassed to have went through four cars in four days.

This time, I was pulling out all the stops in my rental choices, which is the reason that I rode down the road in a bright red Viper convertible, top down, attired in sunglasses and Hawaiian shirt.

Dude, if I was going to get this interview and keep the car intact, I was going to do it in style.

Once again I drove up the drive of the innocent looking and vibrantly colored house, my mind taking in the scene. Seeing this scene of this house, almost hidden in the tropical trees and flowers blooming everywhere around it, I felt a tinge of regret that this would be my last trip to this house _if_ I got the interview.

I reevaluated that last thought, could it be possible that I had enjoyed my trips to this house despite the high-jinx that leapt on me here?

Something didn't strike me as right as I looked up at the house, something was amiss, the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. The woods around were quiet, too quiet, yet I decided to ignore it.

I got out of the car and literally jumped up the steps, two at a time. Just before I rang the doorbell, I paused, then knocked on the door in two quick pounds. Afterwards, I jumped out of the way of the door in case any reciprocals flew out.

A long minute I waited for a response.

Nothing, no footsteps within, no movement within the house period.

I knocked again, a little less cautious.

Still no one.

Mmm...they musta went somewhere, I muttered under my breath. The interview would have to wait another day.

I sighed as I stepped down the steps to the convertible, thinking this over and realizing something. I would be leaving this place with no occurrences of pain or destroying of my rental. I had to smile at that. I could take the car and go on a nice long drive along the coast and enjoy the beaches and see the sights this afternoon. The imagery of this overtook me and I practically floated to the car, until I opened the door and a voice interrupted my daydream.

"Who are you?"

The voice put a shot into my spine like a harpoon and I carefully turned around and saw...two very large grayfeet.

The feet were connected to thick gray legs, to a black suited body, to a head that towered above me and gave a cold, biting stare with blue eyes. I really didn't know what the heck it was. My mind was clanking about in failing motions for an answer.

Oddly enough, one came to me.

"Gantu?"

"Who are you?" he asked again.

I then saw the gun, it clicked.

Let's face it, my nerve snapped and I freaked out of my wits. When a gun that's bigger than youand held by a creature that may or may not be mentally unstable and could be on a revenge rampage, isaiming right you, you panic and run.

I did just that, away, into the woods.


	10. Day Four, Part 2: The 'Agreement'

OOC: The fact that I'm updating this is quite scary. The other fact is that I started this just after the movie was released and now it's two years later. I still think it needs an ending to it...technically. So here you go. Possibly the final update of Maxwell J. Sterling's Lilo and Stitch interview attempts.

I could have been running for a good while, while you're running recklessly in fear you have no sense of how long you're running. I just plummeted headlong into the tropical foliage, somehow not hitting any trees in the process.

In this blind running state it wasn't much of a surprise that I flew into midair off a ledge of some sort.

For that second I figured I had a found a cliff that would end this interview attempt with a horrible end on the jagged rocks on the ocean shore below. I could see the headline's now: Clueless Reporter's Body Found.

That was a boring title for an article.

I didn't have time to think any more thoughts since I hit the ground.

I opened my eyes and figured out where I was.

I was lying on the sidewalk, right next to a wall that wasn't more than two feet high that separated the forest from the sidewalk and besides a scraped knee, I was fine.

Then I noticed the fifteen eyes staring at me. The eyes belonged to none other but Lilo, Stitch, Nani, David, Pleakley, Jumba and Cobra, all holding bags from a trip to the grocery store.

"Mr. Sterling," Nani gasped.

"Maxie?" Stitch said, more amused than surprised.

The eyes followed me as I got to my feet, straightened my now ripped Hawaiian shirt, brushed the leaves from my hair, and repositioned my crooked sunglasses. I cleared my throat before I yelled, "Gantu is at your house!"

"And...?" Lilo said.

"Ur..." I said, judging from the unphased looks that what I had just said had no importance whatsoever to bother panicking about in their minds.

"Vat do you mean? Ven Gantu comes he just be checking in on us," Jumba said, slanting his four eyes.

"And how do you know about even him, Mr. Sterling?" Cobra asked.

"Are you a zombie spy sent you observe us and turn us into the undead?" Lilo also inquired.

I suddenly felt very warm, and not from the humid climate. "A bit of research," I squeaked, then regained my composure, "No, wait, what do you mean Gantu is checking in? He's a good guy? He was about to shoot me."

"Of course, it's part of his community services to check if there is anyone bothering us," Stitch explained, a razor edge on his voice, though somewhat mysterious mischievousness on it too, especially as he added, "We reported to him you were coming, did you tell him your name?"

"Oh." It was the only word that came to mind. So if I didn't tell him my name what would happen to my... "Jeeze, I..."

A explosive boom thundered over the forest and birds took off into the gentle blue sky.

I glanced at the noontide sun, sighing, and then turned back to the group, that still stared at me. I could figure that I was a sight to behold from my forest run, blood running down from my knees, my shirt ripped from bushes, my face scratched from branches, and now I was completely and utterly defeated in every sense. I sank to my knees, "It was a Viper convertible!"

"Oooo," I heard the blue furred menace mutter, "I wouldn't even place a paw on that kinda car. I might hijack it but..." Lilo kicked him in the leg from saying anymore.

Something started ringing, a very distinct ringing in the tone of Back in Black by AC/DC. This said ringing came from my back pocket.

Cobra placed the bags of grocery he held down and removed his black sunglasses, "Mr. Sterling, is that by any chance my special cellular phone?"

'Special' was right, the thing had blown up my TV in the hotel room last night and due to a wild coincidence it was covered under some obscure type of insurance known as 'laser no-fault clause'.

My supposedly blown up Viper was forgotten under that burning CIA specialty gaze. I fumbling with my back pocket in a shuffling dance to get the phone out as quickly as possible, wondering if Cobra was going to pull out a gun and shoot me. Personally, I'd have optioned to be up against Gantu than Cobra.

"I gave him the phone," Stitch interjected.

"Ur...yes, he did," I quickly agreed. This seemed to appease Cobra and he stopped stalking towards me when I tossed him the shiny black phone.

Then a certain whale thing crashed out of the tropical forest. "You, primitive life form, freeze," he ordered, aiming the gun at my head.

I mentally scratched off my former opinion, I would have much liked to be up against Cobra than this monster.

His blue gaze noticed the group and he saluted with his spare flipper...hand...ur...whatever. "I kept an eye out for the ill shaven, weird primitive life form and destroyed his transportation device as suggested 626. Shall I vaporize him now?"

Everyone besides 626 aka Stitch, announced a resounding "NO!"

Lilo gave Stitch a good natured kick in the leg again.

"Ow," Stitch exclaimed, rubbing the area.

"I am soooo sorry Mr. Sterling for the trouble. I didn't know that...I mean..." Nani fumbled for the right words, "I never would have wanted this to happen...I'm really sorry for..."

I held up a hard for her to halt explanation, because I knew that would be a feat that no one could accomplish in this situation. My eyes were closed as I started talking, "These four day have been...interesting."

I let a small period of silence set in, a period I used to take a deep breath.

"I was going to have some long revolutionary speech but my tongue of a interviewer is failing me..."

Stitch coughed, "You had one?"

I cleared my throat and continued, "The fact that am still here has to warrant for something. I've made it this far and I'm not going to back down now and PUT DOWN THAT GUN GANTU!"

Gantu complied to the order.

"As I was saying, nine am tomorrow morning. I am coming to interview. Understand?"

There was a sound nodding.

"Good, now, I must go and see if my rental company had explosions covered in it's insurance plan."

With that, I turned on my heel and headed down the street

"That way is the opposite direction of the rental hut," Stitch called.

"I know," I lied, "I'm taking the long way."

"But that way is a dead end into the ocean."

"I'm swimming," I said, trying to keep from growling.

"But there's sharks."

Attempting to keep one shred of my reporter dignity, I turned on my heel again, and walked at a quick pace back past the group.

"Are you sure I couldn't tempt you with some cake for the way there?" Pleakley asked.

I sprinted away from the group down the street.


End file.
